I’m not a “new year, new me” kind of person but this year you could say I slightly took on that culture.
Over the years I have been through a lot and each year I picked myself up and never stayed down, these last two years I would say were the hardest so far in my life I’ve dealt with some stuff, lost myself for bit, been sick and had to make some difficult decisions.
Around August I made a pack with myself to starting fighting for me, things that I want, things that would help me evolve and give me continuous growth even if I’m fearful and in the moment it seems impossible. I decided to get back to me.
The Black and White Series is one that I hold dear to my heart, it is the first shoot that I’ve physically put together and thought long and hard of what I wanted it to represent and the feel of it. I chose to have the photos in black and white because I think it gives a rawness to images without the distraction of the vibrant life that surrounds us.
The Book Scene
Scene One, ‘The Book Scene’. This scene is simply about me reconnecting with books and my love for reading and finding pleasure in a physical book turning each page to find out what happens next. For while I forgot about the joys of reading a physical book and caring for it because technology has truly started to take over the world and we can no longer put down our phones even if it’s to read a digital which became me for a while. Sometimes I believe we need that ‘me time’ even if it is just to curl up with a good book and a cup tea, we need that break from technology and that’s what I’m working towards.
Scene Two and Four, ‘Letting Go’ and ‘Candle Lit’. Sometimes we don’t know when to let go, sometimes we think if we hold on long and tight enough that things will change, sometimes we are afraid of being alone, other times it is that one thing that feels like it’s tearing you apart but simultaneously keeping you together, each of these are kept with fear. I chose these scenes to be taken by the ocean and in a garden because the ocean for me is my release, it keeps my sanity intact , it seems like I’m washing away the worries of the world and where I become carefree, childlike almost and a garden simply represents growth and care.
Letting Go
‘Letting Go’ is represented by a sparkler, it burns out and cannot be lit again and that signifies that it is the end of the situation you were in, there is no holding on to it or trying to fix it even though it was beautiful while it lasted.
Candle Lit
‘The Candle’ is like a restart button even though it has the option to either burn bright or slowly diminish, it can always be sparked again to burn like it’s meant to, so even if you give up for a while and let go you can always rekindle that flame.
Focus
Scene Three, is the purest meaning of ‘Focus’. Now this scene was meant to represent zoning in on yourself, focusing on you. There is no deeper meaning but to remind myself that I have to focus on me and what my body is saying.
My journey is nowhere near over it has just only begun and I plan to keep fighting.
Aisha Clarke
mariaxmode