Diandra C
Ever saw something that just crushed you? It knocked the wind straight out from your diaphragm. It put a halt in your step and then the shock came. And oh boy, you just can’t believe it. You can’t believe it. Sigh. You just can’t fucking believe it.
You blink. You scan your surrounding, you check to see if this is reality or if you’re drifting in a dream. Weirdly afloat in a bubble in your mind.
The pain comes and you can’t even scream yet, you just take it in parts then all at once.
This shit isn’t like depression where it comes in slow pangs and in moments least expected. You feel this nervous breakdown weighing you down subconsciously, you feel the tears waiting to come and you can’t prevent it. You can’t prevent it.
You cry til tears stop coming. You heave til your chest fails you and you lay there in silence wondering, ” What to do?” “What do I do?”
In this moment I just cry some more, scream it out, pillow punch it out, sing it out or write it out. Cry some more, binge eat, cry some more. (Repeat until I’ve reached a realization)
Anyways, the point of all of this is:
Nothing’s wrong with falling apart my love, it’s about piecing yourself back together.
It’s about how willing you are to fix yourself. How bad do you want to heal and feel better? When you answer that essential question, devise a plan, commit to execution while surrounding yourself with trusted people who will help build you up and show you when you’re faltering; applaud you when you’re doing good.
Remember: Not about how fast you get there. It’s about getting there.
You got this. You can overcome.
Baby steps.
-Diandra C.
8/June 2017